Pulp Non Fiction

[ Friday, March 19, 2004 ]


A Passionate Atheist Reviews The Passion of the Christ

First of all please allow me to say that I do not go to movies.I have probably been to a grand total of ten movies in the last 15 years.I have better things to do with my life than go to a movie.I want you to know that I went out of my way to watch Mel Gibsons Passion just to see what the hullaballoo was all about.I am not a movie critic so this is not your run of the mill movie review.

Second it is true that the film was more violent than the maybe all the 50 "previous passions" that the networks make you watch during the lenten season over the last 50 years of television.Just as the Holocoust Network makes sure you NEVER forget and always remember the Holocoust and comes out with the same film with a different twist year in and year out,the Holy Roman catholic church makes sure you NEVER forget that Jesus H. Christ died for YOUR SINS either.

The one thing different in this version of the neverending story of christ is that Mel really rubbed it in this time.When Pontius Pilate washed his hands this time he really washed his hands and laid the blame squarely on the jews.He really made those Rabbis and pharisees look like the BAD EVIL men who killed sweet helpless bleeding truly godforsaken jesus.

Another scene that stuck out like a bleeding thumb was the flogging of jesus by the roman guards.They just kept on going and going and going and going and going and just when you think jesus has had enough, he gets up and they flog him some more this time with sharp metal at the end of the whips and they flog him on and on and on and on and then in the next scene jesus gets up and walks a hundred flights of stairs to be paraded in fron of the crowd by Pilate.

All This would be true had Jesus lived or if the story of Jesus were true.But Jesus never existed and the greatest story is the greatest myth that was ever told."There was no such person in the history of the world as Jesus Christ.There was no historical,living,breathing,sentient human being by thatname. Ever.The Bible is a fictional, nonhistorical narrative. The myth is good for business."[Jon Murray, President of American Atheists, as quoted in Life Magazine, Dec. 1994 "Jesus"issue.

The Romans made it up and created the anti semiticsm that we are witnessing around us today.It would be interesting to visit this little known but been on the Internet since July of 1996 website [url=http://www.angelfire.com/biz5/piso]ROMAN PISO[/url]

The jews are victims in the greatest myth that was ever told.The jews should be pissed off at the romans/italians/pope not at mel gibson.They are shooting the messenger in this case.

How many The Greatest Story Ever Told ,King of Kings Last Temptations of Christ,A man called jesus have you seen? Surely You must have seen Godspell or Jesus Christ Superstar? The LIFE OF BRIAN?JESUS OF MONTREAL ?THE GOSPEL OF JOHN?THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO ST. MATTHEW (1964) With a cast of unprofessionals,and a ruthless Jesus who has no time for his poor mother?The Robe?Ben Hur?

Can we blame the jews for making a similar movie that dwells on self pity? How many Holocoust movies have been made? Spielberg and co.'s list is endless and would require another paragraph or two that would easily derail this topic so lets stay out of it for now.

So to make the longest story ever told even shorter...I fell asleep during the crucifiction.I got to the part when the thief to the left of jesus was taunting him and it was kinda funny because I was watching with my left eye closing and there was poor Jesus looking at the man with one one bloddied eye closed.I drifted off to a sound sleep as Jesus amidst thunder and dark clouds and a black moon rising must have have been breathing his last breath asking god why had he forskinned him.I'm only guessing this scene from the past Jesus films.

Trivia: The guy who played Peter in Jesus Christ Superstar went on to be a porn star in hundreds of movies.
Trivia:They had to re-shoot one Jesus on the Cross scene because test audiences didn't want the crucified Lord to have chest hair.
Trivia:Handyman Nails Himself After Watching "The Passion Of The Christ"


I passionately give The Passion of the Christ : 2 Crowns of Thorns.

art [1:10 AM]